ticking timebomb
In all honesty, I was extremely shocked when An informed me of Arif`s death. It`s just plain unexpected. Suddenly, memories of us in Sec 1 & 2 came flooding to my mind & there was this uncanny emptiness in my heart. I last bumped into him in the train a few months ago after about 4 years of not seeing each other. He was seated just 2 seats away from me, with a very beautiful girlfriend by his side. I saw how much weight he lost & somehow, I couldn`t help but notice how different he looked. Different in a good way. Not the kind of look I see in a guy, but still, he was...different. It`s like a new Arif, yet I still saw the old Arif. If you get what I mean.
I remember all the teasing back then, how we disliked each other but sort of settled our differences in the end. It`s like I can still hear him call me 'Nuwul' instead of 'Nurul' because he can`t really pronounce 'r'. I truly cannot imagine the pain & loss of his loved ones. It is with all my heart that I send my condolences & hope that God will give them the strength in time to come, to grieve & then deal with the loss.
Truly, there is no 'Death for Dummies' book. There is never going to be an escape plan to pain because no matter how much one tries, no matter how much one cries, life is never going to go back to the way it used to be, because one just cannot shut the door & hope everything disappears. You lose your mother & you deal with the pain. & then you lose a friend, you deal with a different kind of pain. It is still pain, but just different intensities & variation of it. One CANNOT say "I know what it feels like" because everyone experiences different sorts of emotional pain. In this context, my friends & I lost a friend, a classmate, a schoolmate, but to his parents, they lost a son. It`s just...different. So, faith... Faith is what keeps all of us alive. InsyaAllah. Our belief in Qada` and Qadar.
You know, here`s my 2 cents worth... It`s just human nature to say that the hour of death cannot be forecasted, but when we say that, what we imagine is that, the hour is placed in an obscure and distant future. It doesn`t occur to us that it has any connection with the day that has already begun or that it could arrive this very night, this night which is so certain & which has every hour filled in advance. That`s the thing about Death, God`s ticking timebomb.
So I guess this is it... I won`t ever see 'wicked witch brainwashing' appear online in my MSN contacts list. Ever again.
May you rest in peace, Arif. Fellow Muslim friends of mine, I hope you`d spend a few minutes to recite Al Fatihah for him. Thank you.
I remember all the teasing back then, how we disliked each other but sort of settled our differences in the end. It`s like I can still hear him call me 'Nuwul' instead of 'Nurul' because he can`t really pronounce 'r'. I truly cannot imagine the pain & loss of his loved ones. It is with all my heart that I send my condolences & hope that God will give them the strength in time to come, to grieve & then deal with the loss.
Truly, there is no 'Death for Dummies' book. There is never going to be an escape plan to pain because no matter how much one tries, no matter how much one cries, life is never going to go back to the way it used to be, because one just cannot shut the door & hope everything disappears. You lose your mother & you deal with the pain. & then you lose a friend, you deal with a different kind of pain. It is still pain, but just different intensities & variation of it. One CANNOT say "I know what it feels like" because everyone experiences different sorts of emotional pain. In this context, my friends & I lost a friend, a classmate, a schoolmate, but to his parents, they lost a son. It`s just...different. So, faith... Faith is what keeps all of us alive. InsyaAllah. Our belief in Qada` and Qadar.
You know, here`s my 2 cents worth... It`s just human nature to say that the hour of death cannot be forecasted, but when we say that, what we imagine is that, the hour is placed in an obscure and distant future. It doesn`t occur to us that it has any connection with the day that has already begun or that it could arrive this very night, this night which is so certain & which has every hour filled in advance. That`s the thing about Death, God`s ticking timebomb.
So I guess this is it... I won`t ever see 'wicked witch brainwashing' appear online in my MSN contacts list. Ever again.
May you rest in peace, Arif. Fellow Muslim friends of mine, I hope you`d spend a few minutes to recite Al Fatihah for him. Thank you.
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